Kaleidoscope Desert Animal Dating Profiles
Hot Animal Singles Near You
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Hot Animal Singles Near You 🥵
A lot of hot singles live here on the ranch and are looking to be someone’s sugarbaby!
Hot Singles
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Hot Singles 👇
Interests: Examining you with my large, amber eyes, the new blonde on the ranch, exploring life's mysteries from a distance.
About me: I was born just a day before my sister, Later, but that's just the beginning of my problems. I'm always asking myself the big questions, like, why am I so big and why can't I fly? How do you get people to love you when you’re shy? And don’t mind me if I’m pecking around you. I’m just wondering – where’d you get those strange feet, for example, or how do you have so many shiny things?? So if you're looking for a quirky, misunderstood bird who's just trying to find his place in the world, hit me up. I may be a little rough around the edges, but I've got a big heart.
✨ Name: Early
✨ Breed: Emu
✨Age: Day Older Than Later
✨ Name: Early ✨ Breed: Emu ✨Age: Day Older Than Later
✨ Name: Zoomer
✨ Breed: Nigerian Dwarf Goat
✨Age: 3
✨ Name: Zoomer ✨ Breed: Nigerian Dwarf Goat ✨Age: 3
About me: Hey there, it's Zoomer, leader of the coolest goat pack in town. I'm not your typical farm animal - I'm more like a dog trapped in a goat's body. I'm loyal, playful, and will do anything for a snack. And let's face it, I'm a bit of a troublemaker. I may even chomp your shorts when you're not looking, but don't worry, it's just my way of showing affection.
I've got a lot of stories to tell, like the time I convinced the other goats to follow me on a midnight raid of the vegetable garden. Or the time I took on a whole flock of chickens (and won).
But don't let my mischievous side fool you - I'm a lover at heart. I'll snuggle up with you for hours if you scratch me behind the ears and give me a few bites of your sandwich.
So if you're looking for a goat who's equal parts loyal and naughty, I'm your guy. Let's get into some trouble together and make some unforgettable memories.
✨ Name: Later
✨ Breed: Emu
✨Age: Day Younger Than Early
✨ Name: Later ✨ Breed: Emu ✨Age: Day Younger Than Early
About Me: I may be a gentle giant, but don't let my size fool you. I'm a lover's lover and I'm always here for the cuddles. If you're looking for a loyal companion who will be there for you through thick and thin, then look no further. I'm a bit of a homebody, but that doesn't mean I'm not up for adventure. Some say my drum sounds like the bass from a car driving by, but I think it's just my way of adding some rhythm to life. I'm a bit self-conscious about my slightly askew beak, but maybe it just gives me character?
✨ Name: Saucy
✨ Breed: Chihuahua
✨Age: 3
✨ Name: Saucy ✨ Breed: Chihuahua ✨Age: 3
About Me: My name is Saucy, it’s short for Saucisson, the French word for sausage. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions as to how I got that name. I have two loves in life. I love love, and I love food. Guess which one I love more? Some people might say I’d risk my life for a bite of goodness, but I just think – yum! I’m hungry. Once a trainer thought I might have a poorly developed frontal cortex. I don’t see it as a problem.
✨ Name: Ocho
✨ Breed: Chi/Dasch Mix
✨Age: 4
✨ Name: Ocho ✨ Breed: Chi/Dasch Mix ✨Age: 4
About Me: Meet Ocho, the brown chihuahua who's a big ball of anxiety. He might have done something wrong, or at least that's what he thinks. But don't let his nervousness fool you - all Ocho wants is to curl up in your arms and cuddle. Once you get him on your lap, you'll see that he's a pro at relaxing. He might be small, but his love is big. Swipe right if you're ready for some serious snuggle time with Ocho.
(Ocho was too shy to write his own bio so we did it for him.)
Interests: Sniveling for your love, being subordinate to Baby Shark, Dad’s attention.
About Me: Meet Tilt, the skinny chihuahua with a perpetual head tilt. Tilt's world may be a bit off-kilter, but that doesn't stop him from being a loveable companion. He's a bit neurodivergent, and the voice inside his head is probably like 'doink-a doink-a doink-a.' Sometimes he can't even tell where sounds are coming from, but that's okay because he'll always find his way back to your lap for a cuddle.
Interests: My precious ball, my precious ball, and being scared when I poop.
✨ Name: Tilt
✨ Breed: Chi/Italian Greyhound Mix
✨Age: 6
✨ Name: Tilt ✨ Breed: Chi/Italian Greyhound Mix ✨Age: 6
Interests: Strutting my stuff, shredding on my guitar, and helllooooo, ladies, if you know what I mean.
About me: Look, I know I look like an 80's rocker, and that's because I am one. I spent my youth touring the country, playing guitar solos, and ruffling a few feathers along the way. Sure, I'm a bit of a social outcast. I do like my pants leather. I do like my hair big. I do like my music loud. I'm not afraid to be different – I'm a rockstar. I’m a rebel. And in general chicks dig it. But now I'm ready to settle down with a special lady, so come find me.
✨ Name: Jareth
✨ Breed: Polish Rooster
✨Age: "Age is just a number, baby."
✨ Name: Jareth ✨ Breed: Polish Rooster ✨Age: "Age is just a number, baby."
✨ Name: Crouton (AKA The Ancient One)
✨ Breed: Chihuahua
✨Age: 17 (and still kickin’ it)
✨ Name: Crouton (AKA The Ancient One) ✨ Breed: Chihuahua ✨Age: 17 (and still kickin’ it)
About me: I first came to the ranch for hospice. With no meat on my bones, a rotten mouth, and a crooked leg, I get why they thought, “she’s 17, she’ll just be with us for a few months!” But once I saw this place, I knew I would hold on til the very end.
I’m old. I spend most of my days napping in the sun and snuggling with my human mom Vanessa, who puts up with my stink mouth and toothless snout. I don’t care for my brothers and sisters. If they get too close, I'll do what I can with my remaining teeth. I may be small, but I'm feisty. Looking for someone who understands my "don't mess with me" attitude and can appreciate my snuggles – and frankly, that person is Mom.
Interests: Interests: Mom, sleeping in Mom’s arms, being the only dog sleeping in the bed with Mom, and wandering around looking for Mom.
Interests: Food, belly rubs, laying in the sun, having all the work done for him, grunting, eating Dad’s plants, and screaming when he doesn’t get his way.
✨ Name: Big Pig
✨ Breed: Mini Pig
✨Age: 2
✨ Name: Big Pig ✨ Breed: Mini Pig ✨Age: 2
About me: I want what I get and I get what I want. I used to live in the house but I just got so angry that I tore the place up. Tore it to shreds. That’s how I got Nice Pig and Scaredy Pig as my wives – they knew I needed something, and boy were they right. I needed to be king of the castle. An emperor. I just sit and watch the women do the work all day, and I like it. Want to be my next wife? There’s always room for more.
✨ Name: Nice Pig & Scaredy Pig
✨ Breed: Mini Pig
✨Age: 2
✨ Name: Nice Pig & Scaredy Pig ✨ Breed: Mini Pig ✨Age: 2
Interests: Foraging, talking shit about Big Pig, doing all the work, and fighting over who gets to sleep in the middle.
About us: We’re Nice Pig and Scaredy Pig, sisters in everything we do. One of us is nicer, one a little more scared of the world. We’ve been betrothed to Big Pig and there’s not much that can be done about it. He’s not as bad as you’d think. We make a decent unit, all three of us together. But maybe if someone new came around…We’d be open to discussing.
✨ Name: T.H.O.T. (That Horse Over There) and A Horse With No Name
✨ Breed: Mini Horse
✨Age: 5 & 6
✨ Name: T.H.O.T. (That Horse Over There) and A Horse With No Name ✨ Breed: Mini Horse ✨Age: 5 & 6
About us: T.H.O.T. (That Horse Over There) and A Horse WIth No Name. We spend our days roaming the acres, chomping on hay and grass, and generally looking romantique together. We’re not playing hard to get, we are hard to get. We’ll take carrots or apples from your hands, but you probably won’t get farther than our muzzles.
Interests: each other, doing our own thing, chilling in various locations, alfalfa.
About me: Me likes clothes for chomping nom nom nom. You friend? Me friend. Brother Zoomer leave me out of fun, pushes me with head (ha ha he has no horns!). But I cute. I know I cute.
Interests: hanging with the gang, munching, widening my girth.
✨ Name: Nugget
✨ Breed: Nigerian Dwarf
✨Age: 4
✨ Name: Nugget ✨ Breed: Nigerian Dwarf ✨Age: 4
About me: I’m a maniac, maniac at your door. And I’m jumping like I’ve never jumped before.Yes I’m a maniac, maniac in the back pen. And I’ll head butt you over and over again.
✨ Name: Maniac
✨ Breed: Nigerian Dwarf
✨Age: 2
✨ Name: Maniac ✨ Breed: Nigerian Dwarf ✨Age: 2
Interests: using my horns to get all the food, acrobatics, my sister Girl Goat, peeping in windows.
About me: I’m small and petite and cute and shy and I have blue eyes and I like to look at you and you maybe likes to look at me toos? Yes you can has pets.
Interests: Being over here, looking cute over there, eating the bad cactus, window peeping.
✨ Name: Lady Goat
✨ Breed: Nigerian Dwarf
✨Age: 2
✨ Name: Lady Goat ✨ Breed: Nigerian Dwarf ✨Age: 2
✨ Name: The 3 Sisters
✨ Breed: Emu
✨Age: 1
✨ Name: The 3 Sisters ✨ Breed: Emu ✨Age: 1
About us: WE DA EMU SISTAS
Interests: LOOKIN’ DAMN FINE.
✨ Name: Comrade
✨ Breed: Sulcata Tortoise
✨Age: 45
✨ Name: Comrade ✨ Breed: Sulcata Tortoise ✨Age: 45
About me: I like to be alone.
Interests: Grass, grunting, and ganja.
✨ Name: Little Bear
✨ Breed: Cattle Dog Mix
✨Age: 5
✨ Name: Little Bear ✨ Breed: Cattle Dog Mix ✨Age: 5
About me: I may just be the best snuggler on the ranch. Unfortunately I have the nickname “Pez” because of my bowel issue that has me dropping doo doo nuggets.
Interests: Dad, guests, cart rides, snuggles
✨ Name: Baby Shark
✨ Chi/MinPin Mix
✨Age: 7
✨ Name: Baby Shark ✨ Chi/MinPin Mix ✨Age: 7
About me: I’m the OG, first of the pack. My parents thought that I wanted more friends but honestly I just love humans way more. Don’t get me wrong, my best dog friend is Ocho, but nothing compares to a warm lap. Just don’t rub my belly!
Interests: Sleeping under blankets, exploring, bagels
✨ Name: Bagel Bro's
✨Breed: Chi & Whippet, Chi & Boxer
✨Age: 1 & 2
✨ Name: Bagel Bro's ✨Breed: Chi & Whippet, Chi & Boxer ✨Age: 1 & 2
About us: We’re the Bagel Bro’s, Junior & Squigs. Our signature neck bagel is so we don’t slip out of the fence because we’re skinny and slippery. We like to think we’re the most fun on the ranch, or at least we have the most fun. We like chasing birds, even if our parents disapprove.
Interests: Zoomies, play fighting, play humping.
